Seven Not So Easy Steps
by Sakura478
Summary: Ichigo may be one of the greatest soul reapers to ever exist but he knows next to nothing about wooing woman, especially a certain Chappy loving midget. With Renj's help he might just get the job done. After all how hard is it to follow seven easy steps? Ichigo/ Rukia. Ichiruki. Oneshot


Ok here's my first bleach Oneshot. I have two full ichiruki stories out(hint hint) but I mostly write Naruto. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or this would happen**

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"You sure about this"

"Of course I am strawberry have I ever steered you wrong"

"Yes, several times actually _pineapple head_"

"Look do you want my help or not _carrot top_"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out here _eyebrows_"

"Hey insulting me doesn't make me wanna help you"

"Well then don't"

"Fine"

"Fine"

...

"So how does it work?"

"Well its seven steps think you can handle that"

"If I can master bankai then I can do this"

"When this is over I'm going to tell Rukia that you compared winning her heart to three days of torture that could have resulted in your death"

"They have a lot in common if you think about though"

"Yeah they do"

"See I told you"

"Yep you sure did"

...

...

...

"So those steps"

"Oh yeah ok well first...

**Step 1: Do something she likes to do together without arousing suspicion. **

"Hey Rukia", Ichigo said as he sat down next to the petite shinigami. She was coloring one of her atrocious pictures again and Ichigo had to bite his tongue to stop himself from insulting her sucky drawings.

"What do you want carrot top", she asked as she gave her bunny hollow a big frowny face. First her drawings suck and now they're just demented, why couldn't Ichigo fall for a regular girl who liked to bake cookies or watch the twilight movies. Ok maybe not the twilight part but the cookie baking thing would be greatly appreciated.

"I just wanted to see what my roommate was doing that's all", Ichigo told her as he plopped down on the bed next to her. She gave him a brief glance before drawing flames coming out of the hollow bunny's head. Ichigo could feel his tongue bleeding as torrents of insults strained to some out and tell her exactly what he thought of this monstrosity.

"Well I'm making some new pictures for the next time you ask a stupid question", Rukia told him and Ichigo's face twitched dying to spout how maybe if she didn't just pull him into everything last minute maybe he would have an idea what was going on.

"Hey are you ok you look even more constipated then usual", Ichigo twitched again and got off the bed before walking over to the door.

"I'm going to Chad's", he told her and she just gave a little flip of her hand before he slammed the door shaking the whole top floor.

**End of Step One. Status: Same as it's always been. **

**Step 2:** **Buy her a gift that she wouldn't buy for herself.**

"What is this", Rukia asked looking at the gift. She poked at it a few times as if it was going to suddenly leap up and attack her. Ichigo just cleared his throat a few times before finally thinking of something to say.

"It's just something to thank you for you know saving me, I uh really appreciate it", Ichigo told her cringing at his words. Kami when had he become such a loser. Rukia looked at the gift and very cautiously began to peel away the wrapper. As the package came into view Rukia gasped and ripped away the rest of the paper.

"Kami, this is the limited edition Chappy doll that I saw at the store last week. I can't believe you got it for me", Rukia said as she gave the small doll a squeeze. Ichigo rubbed the back of his head embarrassed as she finally turned her attention towards him. The longer she looked at him the greater the skeptical look on her face became until she placed the doll down.

"What", Ichigo asked as she crossed her thin arms across her chest.

"What do you want", she countered and Ichigo blanched as the 4'8" shinigami stared him down. Ichigo grimaced slightly before quickly changing it into a scowl.

"I don't want anything. Is it so hard to believe that I just want to do something nice for you", Ichigo yelled and Rukia almost looked bad before she schooled her expression.

"Well it's certainly out of character", she told him and he frowned at her before rolling his eyes.

"Well I just wanted to do something nice. I don't want anything, I don't have any ulterior motives or anything like that", he told her and her eyes softened a bit at his statement as she slowly picked the rabbit back up.

"Thank-you", she mumbled and Ichigo felt a rush of warmth in his chest as Rukia gave the rabbit a small smile before squeezing it to her chest. Ichigo let a half smile slip onto his face as he leaned back against his bed.

"You're welcome"

**End of Step Two. Status: Same as usual except she's smiling.**

**Step Three: Compliment her.**

"Rukia you, uh look nice today", Ichigo told her and Rukia looked over at him in disbelief.

"I'm in my shinigami uniform and I'm caked in sweat and dirt. How the hell is that nice", Rukia but out and Ichigo looked at the ground as he scratched the underside of his nails roughly.

"I think you look best this way. It's who you really are", Ichigo said quietly and he looked up just as Rukia turned away. But before she could he saw her blushing face. She didn't look back at him as she gave him a quick slap across the face before she ran toward the clinic. Ichigo followed after her, pleased with himself.

He'd made her blush.

**End of Step Three. Status: She blushed today and then slapped me. Maybe it's progress.**

**Step Four: Tell her something about yourself that she doesn't already know and that she would never guess.**

"I like Shakespeare", Ichigo blurted out as the two made their way home from slaying another hollow. Rukia looked up at him with a single brow raised.

"Shakespeare", she repeated and Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah, you know it was that book that you thought would help you learn modern language when it was really five hundred years old", Ichigo told her and she nodded as she remembered.

"Oh, that seems like something an intellectual person would like. Doesn't seem like you", she said as they went through his window into their room. Ichigo frowned at her as he slipped into his body.

"You know I'm in the top 25 of our grade right", he asked and she rolled her eyes at him.

"I figured that was out of necessity, you don't seem the type to enjoy school", she said and he wondered why everyone seemed to think he was some idiotic delinquent(A/N I wonder why strawberry:p)

"It's not that I enjoy school I just like Shakespeare's plays. They're a good read", he told her and she slipped into her gigai before sitting on the bed.

"What's your favorite", she asked and he sat there for a minute, his lips pursed.

"Julius Caesar", he said and she nodded approvingly.

"He was a nice guy, confused but nice", she said and Ichigo looked at her in shock.

"You actually met him", he exclaimed in shock and he winced as she drive her heel into his ribs.

"No you fool! How old do you think I am", she asked and Ichigo rubbed his tender side before glaring at her.

"I meant in the soul society", he yelled at her and her mouth popped open in an 'O' before she looked back at him sheepishly.

"Oh, no I haven't met him but my", she paused and looked down at her hands. "My old friend Kaien met him and he said he was very nice. Wasn't even angry about his murder, he was just glad he could serve for the time he did", she told him and Ichigo remembered that Renji had told him Kaien had been Rukia's old teacher and great friend. He also remembered the story of his death. He felt touched that Rukia would share something even as trivial as that with him about the man that had impacted her so much.

"Maybe I can meet him next time we go there", Ichigo said chuckling as Rukia opened the door to her (his) closet. She laughed slightly as well.

"Perhaps, good night Ichigo", she told him before closing the door.

"Good night, Rukia", Ichigo whispered softly before he closed his eyes but he knew it would be a while before sleep took him.

**End of Step Four. Status: I think something's changed. She freely shared with me something from the most wounded part of her heart. It must be a sign of something.**

**Right?**

**Step Five: Be her knight in shining armor. Save her from stuff like some pervy guys, or bullies, even just carrying her books will do. After all there aren't any monsters for you to go out and slay for her;)**

Ichigo stepped in front of Rukia right as the hollow raised its hand to strike. Ichigo blocked it easily with his zankpakuto and he leaped up and slashed at the hollow. The hollow moved out of the way but it let out a primal screech as Ichigo cut off half its arm. The hollow narrowed its eyes through the slits in its mask and Ichigo grinned as it tore after him completely ignoring Rukia.

The monster tore after Ichigo and he dodged nimbly to avoid its attacks, agitating the beast into striking spastically as it become more and more angry. Ichigo decided it had gone on long enough and after dodging another one of the beast's strikes, he leapt up and cut a clean line through its mask. The hollow evaporated and Ichigo considered it another job well done until he nearly fell down as a blunt force hit the back of his head.

"You idiot! Why the hell did you step in the way when I had the situation under control", Rukia asked her voice menacing as she glared down at him. Ichigo rubbed the back of his head as he stood up.

"I-

"No I know why. You thought that I couldn't handle it since I'm this weak little girl well guess what Ichigo I'm a lieute-

"I don't care what rank you are or how strong you are, Rukia. I just like protecting you. Is that a bad thing", Ichigo asked and he was innerly pleased to see she looked shocked. The two didn't say anything else as they made their way back to their home.

As they came in the window Ichigo could swear he saw a smile on Rukia's face.

**End of Step Five. Status: Angered at the action but I think she was pleased by the reason. Perhaps I'm being too hopeful but I think this whole stupid process might be working.**

**Step Six: Help her with something she is having troubles with.**

"No Rukia bread doesn't go in the microwave it goes in the toaster", Ichigo explained as Rukia nodded before placing the bread down on the counter.

"Oh, so what's the microwave for", she asked as she started poking the rectangular object. Ichigo gently removed her hand and ignored the flutters he got from it in favor of placing it as far away from the appliance as possible without moving her.

"It's for reheating things or making popcorn. If you want to make toast you have to use a toaster", Ichigo told her and Rukia nodded.

Ichigo heard his phone ring from the living room and went to check it. He looked down at it to see it was his father and immediately silenced it before returning to the kitchen. When Ichigo got back he was rewarded with the smell of charcoal and the sight of a very confused shinigami.

"Rukia, what did you do", Ichigo asked as she tried scraping something out of the toaster with a knife.

"I was trying to make grilled cheese so I put a piece of cheese on the bread and stuck it in the toaster. Did I put it in there too long or something", Rukia asked as she finally succeeded in scraping the remains of a piece of cheese out of the toaster. Ichigo stood there wordlessly as he looked at the small soul reaper.

**End of Step Six. Status: My house smells like charcoal and we need a new toaster. There are some people you just can't teach.**

**Step Seven: If you still haven't got any results from the previous six steps it's time for the blunt approach. Ask the girl out. Before you wet your pants remember they're girls not savage raccoons. They will reject you nicely. It's the giggling from her friends for the next three months you have to worry about. Good luck(you'll need it)**

Ichigo walked out into the living room where Rukia was sitting next to a sleeping Karin. Ichigo waved her over and the small shinigami walked over to him quietly as not to wake Karin.

"What", Rukia asked as Ichigo leaned back against the wall.

"Do you want to go see that new pirate movie", Ichigo asked her looking her straight in the eye. If he was going to put his heart on the line he was going to be as bold as he damn well pleased.

"Like, a date", she questioned and Ichigo reached his arm up to scratch the back of his head.

"I guess you could call it that", he said, all the braveness gone from his voice. He looked at her and the two seconds it took her to answer felt like an eternity and a half.

"Sure let me get my coat", she told him and Ichigo didn't react until she was out of the room. His face morphed into a grin so large he could feel his cheeks stretching. He smoothed his face over as she came back down the stairs and he opened the door for her as the two stepped onto the street.

The walk itself was quite until Rukia spotted a Chappy figure in the window. Ichigo mumbled 'obsessed' under his breath causing the two to bicker until they got to the theatre. Ichigo payed for the tickets and the two walked into the theatre and quickly took their seats as the movie started.

_"I'm going to become the pirate king"_

_"I hate pirates but I'll join you're crew. Only for the treasure though!"_

_"I want to become the greatest swordsman in the world, that means I can't lose one fight"_

_"I am Captain Usopp"_

While the movie was good Ichigo found himself drifting off a bit. He looked to his left where Rukia was sitting and saw her arm on the armrest. Her palm was up and Ichigo barely felt himself move as his hand landed on top of hers. He was about to pull it away and apologize when Rukia's own hand clasped his own. Ichigo turned back to the movie although now he was totally out of it.

When the movie was finally over the two left and they reached the house, fingers still entwined, and despite the silence Ichigo didn't feel awkward. It felt right. The two climbed the stairs and when they reached Ichigo's room, Ichigo finally took the time to look down at Rukia and he was pleased to see she looked flushed. Ichigo was sure he looked the same way but it was nice he wasn't the only one loosing his cool.

"I had fun", Rukia told him and Ichigo nodded.

"I did too", Ichigo said and he leaned down a little bit causing Rukia to tilt her head back.

"The movie was good", she said, her voice taking on a breathy tone.

"Yeah", Ichigo mumbled before his lips met hers. Ichigo slid his hands down to her narrow waist while her arms found themselves around his middle, she was too short to reach his shoulder. Ichigo had to admit kissing her was nothing like he expected.

It was a lot better.

**End of Step Seven. Status: Busy**

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Ok that's it for this Oneshot. Cookie to whoever guesses what anime the movie is based off of. Please check out my full length Ichiruki stories, I recommend **Your Highness**, it's much better written. Please **review**

**-Sakura478**


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